NEWS from the
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NORTH!
By our Northern Correspondent Eric Strongitharm Oswaldtwistle.
After being hit for six by poor UK sales, and the unexpected return of over 3,000 used Spagthorpe Spadgers (See N FTN CM 12-18 July), SMC is gearing up for a major export drive to India. Following intensive discussions with the Nawab of Patowdi, SMC is to supply a number of "tropicalised" versions of it's "Tusker" nine-tonner to the Nawab's Steam Tram, Haulage and Laundry fleet.
Cooling trials have already been successfully completed on the road to Bangalore (Surely Mandalay?-Ed) with unexpected benefits for Tusker drivers. According to Spagthorpe's head of engineering Isaac "Slide Rule" Frazackerly, 'We've found that t' Tusker engines boil over every hour, on the hour so it's an ideal opportunity to stop and have a brew-up." Tropical Tuskers now have a brass tap at the top of the radiator for rapid dispensing of boiling water, as well as a bone china tea set with the Nawab's monogram on the strainer and a free pack of PC Tips.
Local component suppliers have already been quick to realise the potential of the Tusker says Frazackerly. "We've been inundated with offers of matching cosies in Madras Cotton."
STOP PRESS: Five members of the SMC "Tropical Test" unit have been rushed to the British Overseas Wagon Drivers Hospital in Hyderabad with acute prickly heat and suspected tannin poisoning.