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By our Northern Correspondent Eric Strongitharm Oswaldtwistle.
Page 26
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-Put that in your pipe and smoke it" Just the kind of phrase you'd expect to hear from the bluntspeaking, no-nonsense, "I'll go to the foot of our stairs" folk at the famous Iron Works. Yet as ever at Spagthorpe Motor Company, truth is stranger that fiction (or friction if you work on the angle grinder). Tobacco-loving SMC workers have been asked to take part in an advertising campaign for local firm Heavers, directed by Canadian maverick Link Tiggler. But it took 8o takes before the maestro of such award winning commercials as "Shhh...you know what!", "Happiness is a Jack Russell called Blenkinsop", and "Mmnimm Brasso!" was happy.
"I'm used to working with professional actors," says Tiggler. "Not a bunch of terminally deranged production workers who kept going on about tea breaks and washing-up time."
Chairman and President for Life Sir Jos Spagthorpe called in Tiggler after his brother-inlaw and owner of Heavers, Harry Snatchitt, asked for his help to promote his firm following complaints that his "Black Jack" special strength pipe shag was causing more concerns over local air quality than a passing Spagthorpe Saurian with its special Lanco3 emission standard boiler, running on ultra-low sulphur coking nuts.
Snatchift remarks: gave each of the Spagthorpe staff appearing in the commercial a special tin of Black Jack. After to minutes they were coughing and spluttering so much no one could speak their lines. And the whole set looked like it had been flooded wi dry ice!"
"Me and lads were glad to help," adds Sir Jos. "I love a good puff. I strongly advocate the relaxing powers of tobacco smoking in cabs; makes the lads drive faster. Even though they can't see a bloody thing with all that smoke!
FLASH: Local Environmental Health Officers have banned all coke-powered Spagthorpe Saurians, citing the 1956 Clean Air Act.