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By our Northern Correspondent, Eric Strongitharm, Oswaldtwistle.
Page 25
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As winter approaches and the Northern nights draw in, the Spagthorpe Amateur Operatic Troop (SPAT) has been entertaining Oswaldtwistle with the latest production of the musical Showboat.
Sponsored by the Spagthorpe Motor Company and generously supported personally by chairman and president for life Sir Jos Spagthorpe, the group has been in fine voice for the week-long run.
But it is the motor firm's contribution to the set of this production which has been catching the attention of critics. Audiences have been treated to a spectacular show of sound, light and diesel fumes on a super moving stage, precision built and powered by an engine salvaged from the discontinued Spagthorpe Leviathan.
Unfortunately, however, the showboat dispelled the myth of everything being all right
on the night when, during the last performance, over-zealous driver Darren Acne lost control of the vehicle and it left the theatre for a romantic trip down the street Singing turned to screaming as it glided towards the Oswaldtwistle Ship Canal: fortunately members of the cast managed to abandon ship before it slid beneath the murky waters, never to he seen again.
Ashen-faced PR man Frank Chastity was visibly shaken by the performance, but played down allegations that it could have been much worse. "Performance went as planned," he said between twitches. "This were all in't script—and audience were clearly delighted."
But Spagthorpe's works band ukulele player Arthur Sibelius, who was the last to get off the stricken vessel, appeared to contradict his colleague. Were it 'eck as like in't script. Mark us words, I'll give 'urn Showboat..."
FLASH: Spagthorpe's ashen-faced PR man Frank Chastity is recovering in Oswaldtwistle General after being pulled out of the town's canal late last night. Chastity's family was shocked to hear about the accident and could not understand why he hadn't managed to swim to safety. Mrs Chastity said: "Frank swims like a fish'appen it's because of his oily skin. So I couldn't believe he were stuck in't canal." Rescue divers reported that it took 45 minutes to cut the submerged man free of the concrete-filled ukulele.