AT THE HEART OF THE ROAD TRANSPORT INDUSTRY.

Call our Sales Team on 0208 912 2120

Congratulations to Peak Performance Management for winning the title of

25th April 2002, Page 40
25th April 2002
Page 40
Page 40, 25th April 2002 — Congratulations to Peak Performance Management for winning the title of
Close
Noticed an error?
If you've noticed an error in this article please click here to report it so we can fix it.

Which of the following most accurately describes the problem?

'Best Risk Management Company' at an awards ceremony described as the fleet industry equivalent of the Oscars. The award is a credit to the professionalism, expertise and commitment of our whole team," says victorious group MD James Sutherland. But we fear something slightly more sinister may be afoot which could have had a bearing on the judges' decision. Look closely at the award the MD is holding aloft. Its back-tofront message, if read aloud at a speed of 33rpm, might state that all other fleet companies are doomed to failure and cannot ever win. In Hebrew. The canny Sutherland has even fooled the photographer into taking a picture of himself with the apocalyptic, chilling warning for all other fleet companies to see. Conspiracy theorists— look no further for your proof. "Diversification is just what the doctor ordered for those companies looking to offer their customers non-traditional products—at least that's the message from the Spagthorpe Motor Company, the North of England's most forward-thinking manufacturing firm.

In an unexpected move, the pioneering truck maker, with its precision engineering gurus, has announced that it's offering—for a limited time, while

stocks last, never to be repeated, contents may have settled in transit—a free routeing and load management package with all its trucks. Developed alongside the technological and mathematical genius that is the darts team of the Ferret & Fishnet public house, the new system incorporates a sophisticated Igneous Strata base board with Calcium Carbonate display technology. Combined with the patented CountonyerFingers calculations medium, the SMC 'M FOR' (Money For Old Rope) route planner will help operators wring the last fat drop of profit from their previously under-utilised fleets. Sir Jos Spagthorpe, chairman and president for life of SMC, says that he's expecting great things from the 'Fishnet'. "Back in my day we never 'ad any of these fancy-dan products, but marketin' fellas said we need to offer 'added value' with us waggons—like when tha gets fish, chips and scraps. Now if tha buys a truck from us tha gets a piece of slate, some chalk and Dave and Alf from t' darts team to help you out wi' office work. It's a great leap forward and no mistake."

FLASH The offer of the MFOR technological solution has been withdrawn after key members of the development staff left to pursue interests at another firm, according to the S M C. A downcast Sir Jos moaned: -They canna leave Fishnet's team to throw arrows for t'Waggon & Horses. It's nigh on treachery."

Tags

People: Jos Spagthorpe

comments powered by Disqus