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ChrIstmas

21st December 2000
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Which of the following most accurately describes the problem?

Dallta

This is a time for reflecting on life's eternal questions: if Santa drove a truck what would he pick? Would it be 700 reindeer power? Answer a few of The Hawk's Yuletide posers for charity.

Can you hear those till bells a-ringing? Yes, folks, the season of goodwill is upon us once again. Before you slump into the slough of despond at the thought of those endless queues snaking their way around Woolworth's, let me also remind you that it's time for The Hawk's Christmas Charity Bonanza, Every year The Hawk's pals in the industry donate a veritable Aladdin's Cave of goodies for your delectation.

All you have to do is to have a stash of postcards ready to jot down your answers, and any one of these fabulous prizes could be yours for keeps. The Hawk's only regret is that he can't enter the quiz himself.

Never mind, this year the old hack's got a real cracker of a Christmas lined up. In a fit of consumer madness during the summer sales, he finally succumbed and bought a job lot of a freezer and a microwave oven. As a consequence, he

and Foden the dog had the Yuletide shopping wrapped up by July. So there'll be no messing about this year: turkey and all the trimmings are guaranteed frozen to singed in o-6o seconds. No worries, either, about having to suffer endless Christmas specials on the box, as the crafty old bird has taken the precaution of videotaping a year's worth of Top Gear. The only snag is the volume will have to be turned down low, as Jeremy Clarkson's voice has a very strange effect on Foclen. Every time he hears those booming tones, the mutt starts howling

and scratching furiously at the door. (I knew that dog had some good points—Ed.) Anyway, enough of these seasonal shenanigans. Before you all reach for your leaky biros, let me tell you about this year's nominated charity.

The Medical Foundation was established in 1985 by Helen B amber to care for the victims of torture. Helen, the current director, has a long association with helping survivors. When she was

only zo years old she was a member of one of the first rehabilitation teams to enter the concentration camp at Belsen. hi 1997 she was awarded an OBE in the New Year Honours List for her lifelong work to eradicate torture. The Medical Foundation provides medical and psychological treatment as well as practical help for survivors and their families in the UK. In the first year it opened it treated 750 victims of torture; last year there were more than 4,000. At the moment the Medical Foundation is spread over two sites, which is why in April this year it launched its Under One Roof appeal to raise £4.7m to build a specialist treatment centre in London.

We cannot begin to imagine the honors that victims of torture have had to endure. We can only be thankful that there are organisations like the Medical Foundation to help them put their lives together again.

1. ERF keeps you warm and cool

The Hawk would be the first to admit he's no fashion guru. Why, his wardrobe used to fairly crackle with static from acrylic and polyester. Luckily, with the invention of the fleece, the old bird was rescued from this sartorial time warp in the nick of time. Never mind cool the aged hack is positively cooking now And you can be, too, because ERF is giving away three stylish fleece tops with blue body and red collar, complete with logo. All you have tc pick a winner below.

Which rower became a five-timi medal winner this year at the 01 Comes in Sydney?

A. Conn Redgrave B. Steve Redgrave C. Vanessa Redgrave

2. Its a Corgi convoy

Let's face it, we're all children at hE there a man or woman among yo wouldn't want to wake up on Chri D morning to find a Corgi model of a truck nestling in your stocking? This year Corgi has really pushed the boat out by donating a whole fleet of die-cast models. The fine-up comprises a BPS FRP V8 platform lorry with pallet load; a BPS AEC MkV eight wheel platform lorry; a BPS FRE KV8 platform lorry; a BRS Leyland (LAD) tipper; a ERF EC Powder tanker with the livery of WR Wood (Haulage); a "Passage of Time" Octopus platform lorry with steel bar load and Lostock Hall clock with the livery of T Brady 136 Sons; and a "Passage of Time AEC Mk V Mammoth eight-wheel tipper with coal load and Lea clock, with the livery of Anderson & Newhouse. Any one of the above could be yours if you identify the nipper in this question.

A new occupant took up residence hi Downing Street thls year. What is the little chap's name?

A. Lionel Blair B. Eric Blair C. Leo Blair

3. Join the club with Volvo

Never mind the Garrick and the Reform, here's a club you really want to sub scribe to.

Volvo Truck Nation was launched by Volvo for the benefit of drivers and operators in British and Irish road haulage. Normally it would cost you 19.99 to join, but in a spirit of festive generosity Volvo is giving away 10 free memberships. Benefits include a personalised membership card; a die-cast enamel membership badge; information about new products, topical issues and technical developments; discounts on tickets for a wide range of events and activities; a choice of free gifts including a limited-edition Corgi model truck, Sekonda Xspose sports watch, insulated driver's mug and motorist's first-aid kit; and a free subscription to the quarterly Inside Lane magazine.

If you want to win this wizard prize, get your pointy thinking caps on now.

The writer JK Bowling has published a fourth novel In the series about a boy wizard. What Is his name?

A. Barry Potter B. Harry Potter C. Larry Potter

4. DAF raises the temperature

Say these were the choices for keeping warm this winter. You could turn on another bar on the log-effect electric Fire, or you could slip into a delicious toasty DAF fleece jacket. No prizes for guessing what the penny-pinching Hawk would choose. To win you'll have to cast your mind back a few years.

In 1455 the first battle of St Albans marked the beginning of which wars?

A. Wars of the Roses B. Wars of the Tulips C. Wars of the Pansies

5. Dunlop treads the fashion boards Are you TYRED of parading around in the same old clobber? Just for a change do you want to feel GROOVY? Can The Hawk get away with any more puns? (No. Get on with it. Ed.) Well, this year Dunlop will see you back on TRACK (final warning— Ed) with a fabulous collection, which includes one black rallyjacket with brown leather trim (medium), two rugby shirts, black with yellow trim (medium), and, to top it all, one black and brown suede peaked baseball cap. Hats off to anyone who gets this right.

What Is the name of the great canal that runs through Central America?

A. The Trilby Canal B. The Panama Canal C. The Sombrero Canal

6. MAN is back in vogue

The Hawk is eagerly awaiting the day that beige becomes the new black. If you can't wait until hell freezes over, you might want to slip into one of the chic garments MAN is giving away now. The ensemble includes a black driving jacket, a black polo shirt, a black sweatshirt and a black ski hat, all with the MAN logo.

If you reckon you'd look cool in any of the above, tell me which songwriter wrote the Yuletide classic, White Christmas.

A. Cole Porter B. Irving Berlin C. George Gershwin

7. Seddon Atkinson's insulating style

Trend-setters wishing to keep all fashion fronts covered in this intemperate cli mate will simply have to be seen out in this prize from Seddon Atkinson. The three-quarter-length blue/grey waterproof padded jacket is the business. I should know— just tried it on. Hey, just call me Puff Daddio. Now, which dude out there has the answer to this showbiz question? Archibald Leach was the unsexy real name of which Hollywood heart-throb?

A. Gary Cooper B. Clarke Gable C. Cary Grant

8. Travelling light with Mercedes-Benz

The Hawk is a renowned skinflint who, whenever he goes away, packs his jim-jams in a 10p Bag for Life from the local supermarket. Those of you with more finesse, however, will want to win this superb overnight suitcase from Mercedes-Benz. This classy piece of luggage comes in black with the logo embossed in brushed metal. If you can answer this question it could soon be carrying your smalls. WW1 new London landmark almost errant the public off its feet this year?

A. The Millennium Bridge B. The London Eye C. The Millennium Dome

9. Foden drivers dress with flair

All this wet weather has seen Foden the dog looking very bedraggled of late. He has been dropping heavy hints to The Hawk by shivering pathetically, but to no avail. If only they made a doggy version of this prize he would be in pooch heaven. A classic Foden driver's jacket is up for grabs, and all you humans have to do is scribble down your answers on a postcard.

A new art gallery in Safford is named after a famous artist. Who Is It?

A. R Harris B. LS Lowry C. P Picasso

10. Iveco pots you back in fashion

As always, Iveco has entered the Christmas spirit in a big way by donating a whole sack of goodies. In the bag this year are a black jacket (XXL), a red polo

shirt (XL), two yellow polo shirts (XL), a blue polo shirt (XL), a yellow T-shirt (XXL), a blue V-necked T-shirt (L) and a millennium baseball cap, all with the Iveco logo. Puzzle over this one and you could be wearing one of the above.

What was the name of the code-brealdrig machine stolen from Bletchley Park In Buckinghamshire tills year?

A. Conundrum B. Paradox C. Enigma

11. Make an entry with Scania

Sadly, The Hawk is getting rather forgetful these days. Short-term memory you understand. And tell you another thing: the Hawk is getting rather forgetful.

Which is why he could do with one of the 10 diaries Scania is giving away If you know the answer to this question you could soon be jotting down your appointments in one of them.

Which famous aristocrat had some everyday footwear named after him or her?

A. Lady Hushpuppy B. Duke of Wellington C. Earl of Sandal

12. The Hawk's reading room

Just now The Hawk's bookshelves are groaning under the weight of the many titles he has been privileged to read this year. These include some fine books outlining the history of marques that have become synonymous with haulage in the British Isles.

If you want to lighten his load and become the proud possessor of a title from a pot-luck selection of some of best reads in town, just answer this question. Dick Whittington, the first Lord Mayor of London, had a cat, What pet is London's now Mayor, Ken Livingstone, said to favour?

A, Chimp B.131 C. Newt


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