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On the margin
Page 12
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AIR ON A G-STRING
Take a stroll with us through the little sideroads of haulage, the diversions and detours, the quirky, the quixotic and the downright strange...
Purple velvet loon pants... stone-washed bleached denim jeans... an ill-advised paisley shirt... yes, the Margin has had some questionable garments lurking in the wardrobe over the years, some of which were occasionally aired. Most of us, however, develop a sartorial maturity which prevents us parading such fashion disasters in public. Obviously something the driver for Leeds-based Clipper Logistics who was delivering in Sutton the other day managed to avoid in his formative years.
We know Clipper is a hanging garment specialist but was there any need for the public display of a leopard-skin gents' (well, we assume it was male) thong and a pink G-string dangling in the windscreen? Our eyes may never recover.
It is rare these days to see a card carrying member of a government agency waving an inflammatory banner in the war of the sexes. Indeed many of us (namely the 52% of the population who are women) would like to think there was no war, just a grudging admission that women are better at everything except drinking beer, football and war. They can multi-task, have better communication skills, more connected brains and, on the whole, are better looking than the males of the species.
So it's quite a relief to find that someone in charge has finally lifted the burden of shame from all those women-driver jokes (which obviously none of us here are ever guilty of) and said that women take longer to learn to drive and more attempts to pass their tests. According to Roger Cummins, chief driving examiner at the DSA, women are 40% more likely to fail a test when reversing or doing a three-point turn and need roughly three hours more tuition than men. "Some females," he says, "take lot more teaching to be able to use the controls." Which justifies at a stroke men holding the TV remote.
We're also indebted to logistics behemoth Exel for a press release detailing its latest contract win with brewers Heineken.
Frankly we've had bad experiences with Heineken beer, blaming it for several periods of unconsciousness and at least one longterm relationship.
So given all the speculation surrounding Exel's future at the moment we wonder whether it's drinking to forget or whether it will wake one morning to find itself in a sweaty clinch with UPS... Just a thought.