How to Win Votes ,
Page 67
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64
I
F the Socialists would only listen to me," said Maggie's brother Cromwell, "They would win the next election with no trouble at all."
"They may do that even without your help," I said.
"Heaven help those who help themselves if they carry on like the Labour Party. The only thing they seem to have in their favour is that nobody likes the Conservatives any more."
"That is surely an exaggeration. What about your friend Bloggs?"
"Bloggs has not had a good word to say about them since they sold the British Road Services depot round the corner from his garage to a man who seems to think the cost of living is going down instead of up."
"All the same, you cannot tell me that Bloggs intends to vote Socialist."
"That would be a hard one to answer. Bloggs is disappointed with the Labour Party. The next election will be the fifth since the war, and at none of them have the Party so much as gone through the motions of soliciting his vote—in their. official literature at least, although it is true that each time they send round a canvasser for the local candidate."
"I suppose Bloggs has only one question for the gentleman. He asks, 'What will you do to my business?' and the answer is, 'Take it over.'"
All Quiet in the Tower
"If my memory serves. Bloggs did ask that question once—in 1945. His stock question now is, 'How can I get into 11R.S.? ' As he puts it to me, it is quiet up there in the Ivory Tower, and one thing you can say about B.R.S. is that nobody ever suggests nationalizing them:" .
"Do you mean that, if he could gel a satisfactory answer to his question, he would vote for the Labour candidate?"
"Bloggs would say that how he votes is his own affair. All he has in mind is to offer some disinterested help to the Opposition. He would begin by suggesting that they get rid of a few useless trappings, such as the Party policy."
"That is asking too much of the Socialists, of all aeople. They worship their Party. policy, most of all when trey are not sure what it is. They talk about it, they fight about it, they issue pamphlets about it. I can remember at least four published over the past few months."
"All the same. Bloggs fancies his chances of making progress along the Party line. He says the Socialists are even planning to go into capitalism in a big way."
"I suppose he has been reading the Party handbooks also."
"He has noted in particular one plan for making a lot of money out of a pensions fund, and another for investing the money in industrial shares."
"That is merely new-style nationalization. I cannot imagine Bloggs being in favour of it."
"He says the Socialists can have shares in his business any time. His only stipulation is that they appoint a civil servant to answer the phone for him after 6 p.m. and before 8 a.m."
"Unfortunately for Bloggs, the Labour Party are not merely proposing to buy shares in road haulage. Their policy on that point is one of complete renationalization. At the Party conference, Frank Cousins categorically rejected any suggestion of share purchase." "Bloggs admits that that needled him a little. He cannot see what the trade unions have to do with the matter."
"It is certainly odd. that one day the trade unions are asking the employers for more money, and the next day are asking for the whole business."
"What makes it stranger, as Bloggs sees it, is that it does not matter to the unions which party are in power. In the long run, they might be better off under the Con
servatives. If the Socialists came in and nationalized everything, they would probably take over the unions as well while they were about it. This would mean that the officials would be out of a job—or, at any rate, they would be in a different job."
"Bloggs does not sound particularly happy in his new political orientation. In fact, he seems more than a little giddy."
"Once he is made shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, everything will become much more stable. He feels that now the Socialists have adopted capitalism, they need help from somebody like him, who knows the ropes."
".Has.he any constructive ideas?"
" First of all,_being Bloggs, he would like to get his hand; on some of the money the Labour Party hope to get from their pensions scheme. He would hate to see it frittered away on the Stock Exchange. For some reason or other, which Bloggs has not troubled to investigate., the public does not seem to. have much faith in Socialist politicians as business men."
"There was, of course, the groundnuts scheme." • "Not a good advertisement for votes, one must admit; and it is votes that Bloggs would set out to get. He says the Socialists are. doing just the opposite at the moment." . .
"Surely the proposal to increase pensions is a good vote-catcher?"
Pulling Both Ways "The best possible, according to a public opinion poll, which puts pensions at the top of the list of things that voters would most like to see in an election programme. Unfortunately, the same poll .shows that an extension of nationalization is right down the bottom of the list. So that the goodwill the Socialists get by talking about raising money for pensions is dissipated when they propose spending the money on the state ownership of industries."
"How would Bloggs spend the money?"
"He has an answer that is (for him) quite simple. Second on the list that I have mentioned is the building of more roads. Now, money is needed for this, and there is no direct return on the money, unless the Government charged tolls, which would be unpopular."
"All the same, the saving to trade and industry, and to the travelling public, would be almost incalculable, and the Government is really beginning to spend a bit of money on new roads."
"So Bloggs has noticed. He argues that, if the Socialists can really make a bit of cash on the side from their pension plan, they would be better spending it on going one better on the Conservative road programme than on turning themselves into industrialists."
"They might also forget about renationalization, as they would need quite a bit of capital to do that. You have forgotten one thing, of course. Politicians are men of principle."
"You tell that to Bloggs." said Cromwell.