BIRD'S EYE VIEW
Page 32
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BY THE HAWK
• This is a sorry tale about a Government minister and four parking cones. Apparently, police have been investigating complaints of criminal damage to cars parked outside the house of a prominent MP.
Neighbours are convinced the minister has been surreptiously letting down the tyres of cars parked outside his house, a space he likes to reserve for himself with four parking cones. Now they are complaining about cones being put on car roofs and aerials being snapped off. Police have decided not to prosecute the MP, but his neighbours insist the cones — first given to the MP when working in Northern Ireland — are being used to ensure he is saved the trouble of driving around in search of a parking space in the busy area.
• Commercial Motor and some of its competitor magazines were among memorabeha locked in a time capsule and buried in the foundations of the new Nightfreight hub in the West Midlands, which is due to open in May.
It gives a whole new meaning to hidden treasure.
• Last week a press release landed on my desk from Lynx, urging transport firms to consider trimming their warehousing requirements to take account of the new uniform business rate. Lynx reckons the new rates could push up operators' bills dramatically.
The Hawk, being such a super-keen hack, automatically rang up the NFC company and asked if it was considering closing down any of its warehouses.
"No, it doesn't apply to us. We are not the right sort of company," was the reply. Talk about practising what you preach.
• Satanic-branded number plates, containing the figures 666, have been banned by the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Centre, following complaints that they have been cursing road users.
A Welsh church spokesman says: "Everybody fights against the devil, and it is good to see that the DVLC in Swansea are taking peoples' religious feelings seriously." Spooky . . .
• Ministry of Defence scientists are completing trials on a range of bomb 'sniffers' which will be used at the Channel Tunnel terminal at Folkestone.
The sniffers will form part of elaborate anti-terrorist and anti-drug procedures to be introduced at the Chunnel. It is expected that drivers will have to pass through a series of checkpoints while their trucks are inspected.
• Exel Logistics has launched a free freezer rescue service for householders in the South West whose electricity supply has been disrupted by the recent storms.
The company is making space available at its Willand, Somerset site for people to store their food until the eiec
tricity supply is restored.
So far 50 householders have been helped; the company is inviting them to make a donation to the charity Children in Need.
• Sometimes my fledgings have a few problems getting hold of all you transport gurus. In idle moments I've been making notes of some of the comments encountered by CM's newshounds when phoning after stories (all are genuine): "Sorry, he died 25 years ago. '' "You're not from Commercial Motor — are you Jeremy Beadle?"
"I'm afraid he has got a problem with his dog and fleas."
"I'm the cleaner."
"Who?"
Of course there are many more common excuses, but we know what they really mean: "He's in a meeting." He doesn't want to talk to you.
"He's on the nhone. He still won't talk to you.
"Ring back on Monday." He's going on holiday tomorrow. "He's gone on holiday. "He is never going to speak to you again. • After flying back from a hectic visit to Liverpool this week, the Hawk flew through the Heathrow maze to catch a bus back to the long-term car park. Wisely, he rested his ruffled feathers at a seat by the bus stop, waiting in keen anticipation. The flight had taken 45 minutes and the journey so far had run like clockwork. After 10 minutes the queue was growing fast. Everyone looked up hopefully each time they heard the sound of an approaching diesel engine. For more than half an hour we were subjected to a depressing parade of regular visits from hotel courtesy buses, car rental minibuses and catering trucks. Still no sign of the car park bus. Eventually, after over 40 minutes, the shiny silver Scania bus arrived at the terminal one bus stop, and was immediately swamped by hordes of weary travellers. Why, oh why, does it take longer to get from Heathrow terminal one to the long-term car park, than from Liverpool to Heathrow?