• Carphones, I am reliably informed, reduce stress — there,
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it's official. According to one of the many PR releases which are ultimately used to feather my nest: "They are a major factor in relieving the pressures of work for travelling executives."
The Hawk, humbly submits his own solutions to reducing stress for the travelling haulier: Cl Never trust a truck salesman El Take all the car drivers who trundle along in the middle lane of the motorway and send them for a walk off a short pier LI Give electric shock therapy to all drives who speed in fog Li Eat lots of bran O Never lose your temper with a storeman CI Try and understand gatekeepers, after all, their mothers still love them LI Resist the temptation to Eni Accept that even though the clerk in the transport office has never driven a truck, can't find his way around a map, and doesn't know one end of a pallet from another, if he's the boss's son, it won't be him who takes the blame o Be kind to dogs, children, women and bank managers, though not necessarily in that order o Finally ignore everything a PR man says about stress.