By our Northern Correspondent
Page 21
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Eric Strongitharm Oswaldtwistle.
Fired with excitement by the news of Volvo's i6litre engine project, Spagthorpe Motor Company chairman Sir Jos Spagthorpe decided to import his own in-house "Big Banger" from Sweden. However, Hildegard Stensson proved not to be quite what he expected—she is the reigning allFriesia tobacco-chewing champion, and a crack shot with a size 14 welly. Nevertheless, a keen Anglophile and a dab hand at engine design, she has been putting together a new powerplant to fight off the Continental threat.
The 2,000hp Spagthorpe Saurian was developed from the engine that powered the famous Brandon-Marlow heavy bomber, and can burn any combination of DERV, cellulose thinners or good-quality Welsh anthracite. During initial dynamometer runs, the supercharged V12 produced enough noise to demolish the Iron Works ferret sheds, but ever-resourceful engineering overseer Isaac "Slide Rule" Frazackerley was not daunted. Borrowing a giant bolster of stockinette from nearby Relentless Bloomers, he improvised a heavy-duty exhaust filter. Two days later he had collected enough fly ash to build a new shed as well as a small replica of Shap Fell for hill testing. Now it only remains to try out the engine on the road: its phenomenal torque output precludes the use of a conventional gearbox, so a Spagthorpe Patriot has been converted to idler-wheel drive, with the engine driving the offside tyre directly. Sir Jos has promised CM a test drive—just as soon as they can stop the vehicle turning left.