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NEWS from the

14th February 2002
Page 24
Page 24, 14th February 2002 — NEWS from the
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NORTH!

By our Northern Correspondent Eric Strongitharm Oswaldtwistle.

Hats off to the Spagthorpe Motor Company! That's the message British industry is sending to Oswaldtwistle's premier industrial leviathan following its latest new arrival. The plucky northern firm has battled against much industry sneering and face-pulling since it announced production of its latest motor last year. But now, having overcome all adversity like Jason battling for the fabled golden fleece in ancient Greek mythology with his trusty Argonauts and sharp, pointy sword, SMC has finally let the motoring press catch a glimpse of the first production model to roll off the line at the legendary Ironworks factory. And what a beauty she is too— flowing curves and futuristic styling that look set to show the world what a thrusting maverick firm can produce in good old Blighty. Eat your heart out Yankee-Doodles—the SMC Medicament is here!

An exultant Sir Jos Spagthorpe, chairman and president for life of the SMC, told the assembled media scrum: "She's grand int she? Took a team of us best designers 40 days and 40 nights of toil to come up with that. Burnin' fcandle at both ends they were.

"I tell 'cc it's a treat to see summat so space age rain' out of t'plant, it'll be what everyone's drivin by t'year 200 0."

Chief engineer, Isaac 'Slide Rule' Frazackerly explained how he hit upon the concept for the new truck: "Anyroad, I was happily suckin' away on a throat lozenge when it went down t'wrong way and I coughed it up on to workshop floor. I'd just dusted it off and were about to pop it back in when I realised what a fantastic shape for a wagon an 'alf-sucked lozenge was."

FLASH: SMC has paid out an undisclosed sum alter local apothecary Eric Catnip filed a suit over the alleged theft of the design on his patented Fly Agaric, Nettle and Honeysuckle Suppositories for the Cure of Fever, Ague and the Tremors.


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