BIRD'S EYE VIEW
Page 24
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BY THE HAWK
• BP has warned its petrol station attendants not to allow customers to use portable mobile phones on forecourts. According to scientists the hand-held phones operate at energy levels which are high enough to produce a spark. It brings a whole new meaning to the expression "hotline".
• Private Eye Magazine recently claimed that the Freight Transport Association persuaded the Department of Transport to relax drivers' hours regulations during the snowy weather.
Now, David Boulding (who describes himself as a former long-distance lorry driver) has written to Private Eye saying that he was "disappointed to read the article critical of the FTA".
His letter continues: "The average driver has probably been on the road for several days (if not weeks), so when there is a delay due to bad weather or traffic, it is pretty miserable when he is only a couple of hours from home, or a parking place where he knows he can meet other drivers, to spend another night in the cab, often in a layby with no facilities for eating or washing..." Fair point, but the letter was sent from Tunbridge Wells which, coincidentally, is also the home of the FTA.
As Private Eye might ask, are David Boulding and the FTA by any chance related? I think we should be told.
• The relationship between two women drivers working for the same Bristol bus operator is less than harmonious; the pair stared each other out for 30 minutes when their buses met on a narrow road.
Passengers sat fuming while traffic in Patchway, Bristol, snarled up as the stubborn twosome refused to reverse or give way, remaining deaf to the vain pleas of motorists and passengers.
More buses turned up to add to the chaos, shoppers gathered to watch and police arrived to referee the incident.
It sounds like the spirit of the Carry On films is alive and well in the West Country.
• News reaches me from the Lady Truckers Club Christmas party which was originally delayed due to bad weather.
Congratulations go to Geoff Byford who was voted Mr Lady Trucker 1991 by the partygoers. "It was a very difficult decision for our judges because they all had beautiful bodies," says LTC organiser Ilona Richards, adding that all the competitors were "eager to show us their assets".
The Hawk prefers not to dwell on later developments — but he sympathises fully with Valerie who "rose at 08:00hrs to answer a cal] of nature, still in her dress, and promptly went back to bed, still in her dress." It's always best to hang on to your clothes in a hotel — just in case you forget which room you left.
• Wednesday: To France with Shell and Sealink who are signing a deal allowing truckers with a Euroshell fuel card to buy discounted ferry tickets.
The trip, originally scheduled for 1 March, was postponed. Why? Because the sailing that day included 1,600 Sun readers doing the liquor run to Calais for £1. Congratulations to Shell on its diplomacy.
• A quiz in the TGWU's the Record asks members to put the following drinks in order of strength: Yates's Old Bismark Port; Bells Scotch whisky; Newcastle brown ale; and Stolichnaya Russian vodka. It's nice to see that the tradeunion tradition of being expert on things alcoholic is being maintained — even if the quiz sits uneasily next to the children's corner.