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FOUR-STAR STORY
Page 12
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Stuart Thomas gives us his regular round-up of the way the newspapers have covered the transport industry this week...
Two fuel stories were reported last week. First, Shell reported record profits of £9.59bn, which upset everyone who doesn't manage to match its earnings of £303.51 a second. And then there's 36-year old Brian Taylor.
Brian has solved the problem for those desperate for the sweet, intoxicating taste of a legal drug, but who are too adventurous to plump for mere alcohol or 20 B&H. He slashes petrol pump pipes and starts drinking for England. Or Shell, perhaps. If he wants a carry-out he pops down to his local filling station with a plastic can, presumably before heading to the kebab shop for a fight and a donner with chips.
"When it gets him tipsy he dances drunkenly across garage forecourts, terrifying motorists," reported The Sun, which also happened to be the only paper to link the two fuel stories together with the telling link at the bottom of Taylor's sorry tale: "Shell Profits Soar — Page 42".
The Daily Mail leapt on the story of a traffic official, who allegedly doctored a photograph in order to prove Kevin McGuire had parked illegally in Bury. BBC Newsfollowed it up days later and reported Tracy Platt had been cleared
GAS GUZZLER
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.7.1---471•-•""=" drinking addict
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.4.0*
"Very, very funny,1
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"A"First class fun.
by a jury of "fitting up" McGuire, though her Parking official 'altered former work colleague photo to trap a motorist' Gavin Moses pleaded guilty to perverting the course of justice. Manchester Crown Court had heard how Platt's colleagues had hatched a plot to try to fit her up over an attempt to fit someone else up. Do the Machiavellian tactics employed by certain NCP workers in Bury worry anyone else?
Perhaps we should be copying police in Bihar, India, when it comes to dishing out punishment for speeding truck drivers. According to Ananova's website, truckers are forced to hop "like frogs" for half a kilometre.
"If they have any sense, they won't do the offence again," croaked one particularly tired frog.