ONE HEARS
Page 3
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"Go aisy," A.S.E. !
Of ballots and had lots.
A noisy lot o' pinions about.
Of warfare and peace unfair.
Of outlook, "look out," and lock-out.
Very little of the giant pneumatic in these days.
That a lot of bright young men are going into oil.
Of petcocks running over and favourite hens run over.
That all " play " and no work gives things a bad jerk.
That the Clerk of the Weather has been out on strike. _ That "doing nothing" and "nothing doing " are the infernal twins.
That the control of the roads from the air strikes one as paradoxical.
That we may yet see the gentleman in blue superseded by bolts from the blue.
That one might pass a " sporting ." week-end on one of those electrical luggage carriers used at railway stations.
That that's about all one would pass t That there would be no danger ,of exceeding the speed limit, but what about obstructing the traffic ?
Of the luggage problem.
That the most satisfactory solution, so far discovered, is the use of a separate luggage-carrying vehicle.
That the passenger train, is a good model to work on, and that the coach itself should only be expected to accommodate hand luggage such as. the railway compartment rack is made to carry.
That there is this difference, however. The luggage van is dragged behind the train, whilst the coach luggage tender pushes on in front.
That Mrs. Brown and her parcels should still be asked to go by train.
That when the salesmen can no longer find new markets for a, product, the designers should be called in to create new products for the market.
That markets lie in strata much the same as coal seams, and that, similarly, when one • seam is "worked out," it is just as well to tap another. Of 45 in.' wheels.
Of sprints and trips.
Of more weary waiting. Of tools down, tails up.
Of a second Derby this year.
That no Humorist will figure in it, although there'll be a Robey and a Guy.
That creative ability should help to end the slump.
That London's mystery steamer is a maiden effort But that The Commercial Motor will shortly divulge the secret. .
—0' That the modern Sam Weller has not yet produced a Dickens.
". It's a hard world! "—from the stricken radiator, whilst weeping bitterly.
That the way to end a slump is to make preparations for a boom.
That some people try to break the barbed wire of popular prejudice and apathy with a barrage of shrapnel publicity instead of the high-explosive kind.
That, just as the war called for new types of ammunition, so the peace calls for new weapons in advertisement.
That it is almost useless, in these days, to tell a man your lorry is "the best" Show him why it is the best for him.
That the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and that the proof of publicity is largely a matter' of taste.
That a short stay in the Army is often good for lorries. It makes them smarter, That even in an ultra-modern specification " footpedal " is as bad as " hand-handle. '
That the Yorkshire Co.'s trade slogan could well be :-a-" With our hot-stuff abeam you get more room abaft " "We're taxed up to the hilt through begging and preying."