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By our Northern Correspondent Eric Strongithann
Page 26
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Oswaidtwisde.
Never one to pass up the chance to make a fast buck ( respond to new marketing opportunities surely Ed), Six Jos Spagthorpe has announced his latest venture: the Spagthorpe Argonaut. "Ah've bin readin' about this global wartnin' in t'Oswaldtwistle Procrastinator and it sounds like water levels could be risin on both sides of t'Pennines. It'll tek more'n a flood to stop t'Argonaut getting' through!"
Long-serving engineering overseer Isaac "Slide Rule" Frazackerley emerged briefly from SMC's "Stoat Works" top-secret experimental engineering department to give a rare insight into the development of this radical load carrier: "Eeeeee 'ello young Strongitharm! Long time no see.. what's that? Argonaut? Aye, Sir Jos called me in and told me frnek one of our waggons float ( gave me an in-depth briefing on the new project surely Ed). So me an' young Acne lashed some oil drums to an old SMC Huntsman, bolted a prop to the PTO and pushed it int' Oswaldtwistle Ship Canal. An' bugger me if it didn't float!"
FLASH: SMC Chairman and President for Life Sir Jos Spagthorpe has called for greater investment in Britain's inland waterways in a bid to ease traffic congestion. "Give me t'right tax breaks and
have them empty canals lookin' like M62 on a Monday morning," the great man promises.