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156 
By our Northern Correspondent Eric Strongitharm Oswaldtwistle.
Page 28
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When Spagthorpe Motor Company of Oswaldtwistle wanted a famous face to launch its new vehicle "The Catcher" (pictured below right) only one name sprang to the mind of chairman Sir Jos Spagthorpe.
"Winston 'Red Hands' Picklefeather!" he sighed. "The greatest ventriloquist ever to grace the greatest pub in Oswaldtwistle—The Dodgy Deckhand."
Picklefeather's puppet was a mammoth called Roy who he used to pretend to ride on stage in front of disbelieving audiences.
"Years before bloody Bernie Clifton had same idea with that flamin' ostrich," Spagthorpe raged. "The things Picklefeather could do with his hand stuck up that puppet made my eyes water, I can tell you!"
Unfortunately it was up to ashen faced PR man Frank Chastity to break the news that Picklefeather would be unable to make the promotional shoot due to an accident after performing with Roy in Nashville, Tennessee.
"Oh no, no, no, what kind of accident?" cried Sir Jos.
"Lynching."
So instead of Picklefeather it was left to budding young actor Tommy Spotshugg)e who was halfway through growing his moustache to star as Adolf Hitler in the Oswaldtwistle school play "Springtime in Stalingrad—The Musical" to sit behind the wheel.
Chastity was happy with the shoot which he captured in his black and white fun camera from the Oswaldtwistle General Pharmacy. The promotion that went with it promised that the Catcher would "bring street sweeping into the 20th century". How?
"There are too many youngsters walking about nowadays with nowt to do," says Sir Jos. "We have the answer—strap them to the side of our Catchers and give them a brush and tell them to bloody well use it or else!"
Sir Jos was led away by Chastity ranting: "Pressgang them into it if we 'awe to. Close the bloody schools if necessary...."